Anxiety when Running

Here’s something new…having a panic attack while running.  I was running in Florida and got through 2 miles and had to stop then cried.  I’m sure my husband thought I was crazy.  I caught my breath and did my last mile well.  It happened one more time like a week later.  Then we ran a one-mile race on New Year’s Day and I had a panic attack when it was over.  I’ve been trying to get to the root of it.  I have a couple of ideas and I’m working through them. 

New (awesome) Nike+ Watch

My husband got me a Nike+ watch for my birthday.  Although I know it is accurate, it making my mile time longer.  I used Map My Run for along time.  The Nike+ culminates your times.  I just feel so slow.  Also its gives a little map of your course.  The greener it is, the faster you are going.  Mine is always yellowish-red.  I am going fast for me!!  Give me some credit, Nike!  I can do a 10.30-mile but lately it’s been more like 11 according to the watch.  I’m trying to not look and I do want to wear it.  Frustrated.

Watching sites with Runners that are fast and maybe a little bit crazy

I’ve joined two local running clubs and I have mostly been watching them through Facebook.   The race on New Year’s Day was sponsored by one of them.  A mile  - no problem  - but these people are serious!!  I had a PR of 9:02.  Ha!  The fastest person finished in 4.40 – What???  I was 55^th out of 72.  The last person that came in was an 82 year-old women who ran  a 11.46.  These people are robots.  I should of felt so proud put was overwhelmed and had a slight panic attack.  Not fun!  My sister-in-law did point out that if you are running on New Year’s Day, you’re probably serious about running.  Fair enough.

I watched these people, who seem super nice, planning 8 mile runs, runs in the snow and night time runs.  I just know that my husband and I can’t run with them (yet).  I feel like we would slow them down.  We signed up for a 5k with one of the clubs in February.  I have started to dread it because I fear that we might be like 5 minutes after everyone else. 

Running with my husband

I love, love, love that my husband and I running together.  It sometimes stresses me out.  He’ll be like are you ready to go??  Not yet.  Running is something I like to have control of and when someone else is involved, the control is compromised.  I know marriage is compromise but I kind of have to do running my way. 

The 10-mile nightmare

My husband and I signed up for a 10-mile race in DC the first week of April.  It’s the Cherry Blossom 10-miler.  It’s kind of a big deal.  There was a lottery for entries.  There is a strict 2:20 hour time limit.  It’s like a 14 minute-mile.  That doesn’t seem like a big deal but I fear the 10 miles.  The most I’ve ever run outside is like 5.2 miles and on the treadmill 6 miles. I continue to train and increase my distance.  My husband says what happens if we can’t do it in that time.  I told him a bus picks you up.  He said, who cares – we’ll get on the bus.  I started having dreams/nightmares about racing.  This is not okay.  Runs are supposed to be fun! 

So, it seems obvious, stop looking at the watch, don’t run with intense runners, run with my husband when I want to and not sure about the 10-mile thing. It IS getting better.  My husband is supportive and I know others runners would show support.  The Women’s Running Community( WRC) on Facebook is amazing!!  I know folks would say, great job, you are out there doing it.  I know I’m just competing with myself at this point.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Resolutions - 2014 edition

A friend of mine once suggested that when making resolutions you choose things to do instead of stop doing.  I have a mixed bag.  Also, write them down – where people can see them.  I don’t know how many people will see them here but …Yikes!  Here they are:

    Run 10 miles  - this needs to happen by April 6^th.  This is causing me some anxiety. 

    Run a ½ marathon – less anxiety  - not until October

    Eat out less/ make dinner more – I make dinner a lot but some days after working all day – I’m like let’s go to Chili’s, Friendly’s, anywhere that I don’t have to make food.  Having children that are 13 and 16 means no more kids meals.  A typical dinner at Chili’s is like $75.  That’s one drink for the hubby and I, chips and salsa and meals.  Getting crazy!

    Lose 14 pounds – I was going to say 10 but being 2014 and all plus it gives me some wiggle room

    Make my children more responsible for chores around the house – really, they need to pony up!  Chore list??

Happy Birthday to Me!!

It’s my birthday! It's my birthday!

I had a great day!  My husband got me the Nike+ Running Watch.

So happy!  I can’t wait to run and try it out!  It’s snowing tonight so it might have to wait until Friday when it’s going to be 50 degrees – Heat Wave.  I got gift cards to Athleta and Dick’s Sporting Goods.  Wahoo!  Our family went out for dinner and ice cream and are now watching our Ravens on Monday Night Football.  Can it get better?  YES!  This morning we got confirmation that we got into the Cherry Blossom 10 miler.  I was thinking maybe we wouldn’t get it.  That would give us more time to get ready for our ½ marathon in October but we did get in so now it is on!!  I printed out Hal Higdon’s 15k training program today.   Here we go!!

Pick A Title

Four Races in Thirty Days, Running in the Cold, The Longest I’ve Ever Run, The Post that Never Ends! or Birthday Girl!

Over the 30 days, I’ve run 4 races.  With the cold and the dark it’s been hard to get training or practice runs in.  My husband and I are running together.  This makes me so happy.  He’s been such a great sport.  I keep saying, do you want to sign up for this or that race, and he says sure!  Having a running partner is really helping both of us. 

In November, we decided to do a spur of the moment race.  It was to benefit our son’s high school.  It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This was their version of a Turkey Trot.  It was close and inexpensive.  We thought it would be a good practice run for our Turkey Trot at YMCA on Thanksgiving.  It was very unofficial.  No chips.  There were probably only about 200 runners.  It was a hilly little course and cold.  Notice a reoccurring theme – Cold, cold and more cold.

My husband and I ran most of it together. I’d get a little ahead then he’d catch up and vice versa.  At the end we were heading towards the finish line and we started to get faster then he smoked me.  Boom.  He was gone.  I was like what happened? He said there was a guy in front of him and he wanted to beat him.  Yeah, he’s got the running bug!  I drove my husband home and decided to go back for the awards and door prizes.  We only live a mile away.  My husband won a door prize, $25 to Charm City Run.  Score! They let me take it home for him!  Then he gave it to me. 

The next race was the Turkey Trot for the Y.  It was bitter cold on Thanksgiving morn.  My husband and I got up and got to it!  There were running chips and lots of people.  There was ice on the road so we had to be careful.  Also, lots of hills.  You don’t realize how many hills there are where you live until you start running them.  This course has seemed to outgrown itself.  There were too many people for the space allowed.  I was way ahead of my husband.  It was hard to run together.  It was so narrow.  I’m not sure when I lost him.  Then towards the end he was right there beside me.  We finished together.  It was so cold that we headed right for the car.  Then enjoyed a delicious meal made by my mother-in-law. 

Girls on the Run was my next adventure.  This was with my daughter.  Girls on the Run is a fabulous program for girls between 3^rd and 8^th grade.  It promotes healthy living and building self-esteem.  The cumulating activity is to do a 5k.  It’s a ½ of year journey.  My daughter had struggled a bit with the running.  I was so proud of her the day of 5k because she almost ran the whole 5k.  She was such a trooper.  And guess what?  It was so cold!  It was an honor to be my girl’s running buddy!

The last race for 2013 was today.  It was the Celtic Solstice 5 miler.  Until today, I’d only run 5 miles three other times, once in July, the day before I sprained my ankle and twice recently.  I was talked into this because of the shirts.  Everyone loves it because of the shirts.  And I thought this would be our next challenge.  It was touch and go whether we would be able to go.  They were calling for bad weather and snow and mixed precipitation.  In Maryland, you never know what you will get.  I’m happy to say we didn’t get anything in the morning.  We went to the race and only saw a few snowflakes.  And yes, it was cold! Just saying…it seemed like a really long 5 miles.  The course was tight in the beginning.  I was tripped or pushed or something and fell like .25 into it.  The guy said sorry and some lady helped me up and I keep going.  I feel like I won just for that!  My husband hadn’t run 5 miles so he was pretty sure he’d need to walk some of it.  I saw the one-mile marker.  Yea!  Keep going.  There was a turn around with water.  I assumed that was ½ but not sure.  We headed to the lake.  It just seemed so big.  I was running beside a woman for a couple yards or so.  We hit the 4-mile marker together.  We high fived!  I can do one more mile!  As I rounded the lake and started down the hill, I could see the finish time to go!  Another lady was beside me and said Let’s go and we ran together hard to the finish.  My Map My Run said I actually ran 5.20 miles.  I told my husband later for an individual sport, running certainly has a lot of camaraderie.  My husband finished about 5 minutes after me.  I was so proud of him for trying this.  He, of course, said he can’t wait to do it again next year. 

Monday is my birthday.  How I have changed in the last year in running.  Never did I think I’d pay money to run 5 miles or 3 miles in the cold and look forward to it.  Nor did I think Dick’s Sporting Good would be become on of my favorite stores.  I’m looking forward to my next year and running more races with my husband.  And yes, I am hoping for some running gear for my birthday!!

My husband just looked over at me and said I’m totally in for the ½ marathon thing!

Baltimore Running Festival

The Baltimore Running Festival was a great experience.  We chose to spend the night in Baltimore the night before. And what a good idea it was!

The hotel was great.  They had gift bags for the runners with water, fruit and energy bars.  It was a nice treat.  They also offered a pasta bar dinner at the restaurant.  We had to opt out because we were running (ha, running) a little behind.  I’m not really sure if you need to carb load for a 5k away. We headed over to the expo to pick up our packets.  It was well organized.  I could of spent much longer shopping in the expo.  It had everything that I had seen on-line when looking for running gear.  It was like a runner dream.  I got myself some headband wraps so the sweat doesn’t seep into my eyes when I run and a FlipBelt.  This is the best invention ever.  I have had a running belt for years. The one I had much resembled a fanny pack but it was in the running section!  The FlipBelt is so awesome, much more comfortable.  This is going to be great for traveling, too.  I highly recommend it.  I showed my husband.  He wanted one.  I order two more on-line.   I’m going to allow more time next year for shopping. But we had to go because we had tickets see Animal Crackers at Centerstage.  Our buddy, the fabulous Bruce Nelson was playing Groucho.  The show was hilarious.  We got to see friends there that we haven’t seen in years. 

We headed back for the hotel a good night rest.  I was really excited but I did sleep well. 

We got up and got dressed and headed over.  It was seriously like a 3 block walk.  That was amazing as well.  No stress of driving down or parking and the added bonus of getting to sleep a little longer.  Right away we ran into parents from the school where I teach.  Then we headed over to the start.  We didn’t realize at first that the Marathon was starting before us.  The Marathon was at 8:00 and the 5k was at 8:15.  I’m glad we ran into another friend who gave us the 411.  So for about 5 minutes we were standing among the marathoners. It was really amazing to look out at all of them.  They were average people, all shapes, sizes and colors.  I guess I expected to see really in shape, lean men and women. There were lots of those people, too.  It was amazing to see them start and to think about their journey of 26.2 miles.  That can be like 5+ hours of running. Unless you are from Kenya then it's like 2 hours. 

My husband was running with me.  This was his first 5k and although we signed up months before he really only started running like 2 weeks prior.  Our race started.  The first mile was uphill. Great!  I always use Map My Run.  The first mile seemed so long that I thought they weren’t going to put up mile markers.  I pulled out my phone to check and I was almost a mile one.  And low and behold in front of me was mile marker 1.  My husband had not run a whole 2 miles in a row so we had decided that we would meet at the finish line.  Plus, I really don’t like to run with people.  It freaks me out.  I’m afraid that I’m going to hold them up or by some miracle they might hold me up.  Every time I looked over my hubby was close by.  I even saw him walking a some points and still he was close.  Hmmm…

I finished the race in 33.26.  I was a bit disappointed because I finished the Color Run in 31.04.  That was, of course, before a sprained ankle and that was with Map My Run.  When I finished and checked Map My Run it said I had run 3.25 in 33.38.  But it’s all good.  My husband came across the finish line a minute and a half behind me.  It was pretty amazing.  I was really proud of him.  There was a little part of me saying, really?? But mostly I am so happy that we are running races together!  

We rounded into the after party – I’m sure it has a different name and were given our medals.  Very cool.  Got our pictures taken and headed for the beer.  We skipped the food although it looked like they had plenty.  The next area had shopping, beer and music.  I heard someone calling my name and it was my girlfriends from work. We ran the Color Run together. 

We all hung out for a while.  It was really a lot of fun.  I forget to tell about the weather.  It was overcast all day with a sprinkle here or there but it had rained for 3 days prior and we didn’t know what we were going to get.   We were pleased that it was just overcast.  We said good-bye to our friends and headed back to the hotel to pack up.  Which was also great.  We were able to take quick shower and head to lunch.  We had a grand idea that we head over to one of our favorite restaurants, Little Havana’s until we realized that was smack in the middle of the marathon route.  We headed over to another part of time, had lunch and headed home.  It was great.  My husband loved it, too!  We can’t wait until next year!  Thanks Baltimore Running Festival!!!

And p.s. ~ we just signed up for the Half Marathon!  What???

Laterblog - you know like a latergram

This was actually was before October 12th because we did the Baltimore Running Festival 5k that day. More to come on that race plus 2 more up coming 5k's (Turkey Trot and Girls on the Run), a 5 miler in December and signing up for our first half marathon.  Wheee!!

The Good and Bad of my run today

Bad

·      Hot as all get out

·      Hills 7 to be exact

·      Bugs in my mouth

·      Wanted to stop WHOLE time

·      Terrible time per mile – Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow

·      Had to pee the whole time

·      Had to use a porta pot after run- see above

Good

v Teeny tiny bits of shade

v I ran up every hill

v I ran the WHOLE thing 3.1 miles

v Elvis Presley’s Viva Las Vegas

v Crunchy leaves under my feet

v The trees starting to change colors

v My ankle didn’t hurt

The return to the run

Today was the NFL run series for our Baltimore Ravens.  I was supposed to run it.  My ankle did not cooperate.  I’ve been in physical therapy for about 4 weeks.  It’s getting better.  Soooo slowly.  Last week, I went to the trail at my son’s skate park.  My PT said I could walk and then run for a minute and repeat.  I ran a little and felt great.  Just to be outside again, running just a little bit made me so happy that I could have cried.  I didn’t over do it and just enjoyed the moment.  

Yesterday, at physical therapy, I ran on the treadmill for 6 minutes.  I felt like a rock star and was happy that I did not have to stop – not because of the ankle, but because I was worried that I would have to stop after not running for so long. I was able to go the whole time…sign of relief.  I didn’t want to embarrass myself in from of all the PT people. 

I was told that I could run tonight.  I was looking forward to it all day.  As the day wore on and I was getting tired, and I thought that maybe I’d wait.  My ankle was a bit tender.  Funny how much you want to do something and at the same time how much you don’t.  I got on my running clothes (half the battle with me for any run), got out my much-missed running belt and iPod.  I asked my daughter if she wanted to go.  We just signed her up for the Girls on the Run.  This is a program for girls from the 3^rd to 8^th grade. They learn how to run a 5k.  At the end of the program all the girls participate in a 5K.  I get to be my daughter’s running buddy.  The 5k is in December.  I hoping I’m ship shape by then. 

But back the run, my daughter and I drove to track.  The PT suggested not running more than 10 minutes for the first go.  We walked to the first lap.  Then I ran the other 3 laps.  The ankle was a little tender but afterwards felt fine.  I’m icing it right now!!  I didn’t get to run with friends tonight and end in Raven’s stadium but I was pretty happy with my achievements.   I was hoping to be signing up for a 10K by now.  Injury and perception can change things quickly. 

My next 5K, The Baltimore Running Festival, is scheduled for October.  I hoping I’ll be able to run the whole thing.  As badly as I want to get back to it, I have also promised myself not to push it.  Unless it Salt and Pepa…then it’s a dance/running party!